I finished another quarter school and I only have one more left to go. I'm in the middle of my research paper, implementing my "thesis" back in my first grade classroom. I teach science integrated with art on Tuesdays and Thursdays. This will be my second week and we will be gearing up to learn all about plants and their parts and even plant our own little seedling! I want students to find creative outlets in expressing their conceptual understanding. (That's pretty much my "thesis" in a few short words).
I'm on a little break from school for a week before my last quarter begins. I have one last class and my research paper and I am done!!! With that said, I have a bad case of senioritis. I can't get myself to focus long enough to get a lot of work done on my research paper. I related where I am at this point with running a half marathon and being at mile 11. You know you're almost done and almost to the finish line, but you're not quite close enough to see the finish line, but close enough to know it's there. It's all a mental game for me now to keep pushing and keep going. I know I'm almost there and now I just have to remind myself that it's almost over, this long journey is coming to an end.
I'm lacking motivation in life in general. I feel like I'm in a weird funk. Trying to figure out what to do next with my life now that I'm done with my credential. I want to start looking for jobs, but I'm afraid of it at the same time. I'm afraid of job interviews, of answering really deep questions about my teaching philosophy and classroom management, and being rejected! What if I don't have what it takes to be a teacher? But then I step back into my 1st grade classroom and teach a science lesson and I get so excited to do this for a living! It makes me long to have my own classroom and teach kids important lessons and make a difference in this world, even in a small way.
I just had a conversation with someone about being idealistic about teaching and students. I really believe in students and their ability to learn and achieve great things. I want to be a teacher that taps into that potential and helps students see what they are capable of. I never want to lose that drive, that hope, that passion.
My "healthy" lifestyle was on hold during student teaching and the only thing keeping me active was training for the LB Half marathon. Once student teaching was done, I got back into strength training, but not as much as I was hoping. Like I said in my last post, I have a lot of free time. But yet I feel like I really don't. I need to take some time to reevaluate what my goals are and pray about what God wants me to do next.